Jokes for June '09 - Smile & Enjoy
1) Havaii or Hawaii
Two men debate whether Hawaii is pronounced "HaVaii" or "HaWaii." They ask a passerby, who answers "Havaii.""Thank you," says the satisfied first man. "You're velcome," replies the passerby.
2) Sardarji - Suicide bomber
Sardar joins the suicide bomber squad. So when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp his leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications. He lands up in the enemy's camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now? Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers. Sardar: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now? Boss: Wait for more. Sardar: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now? Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don't worry about your family, we will look after. Sardar pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.!!!
3) Great Dialogue
Indian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year! Delegates
US President: Wow! How many?
Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut
4) Man's intelligence
What do you call a man who has lost 90% of his intelligence?
A. Divorced.
5) Where's the Husband
Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!"
"I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house, but when I called he wasn't there."
The third woman says, "I always know where my husband is."
"Impossible!" both women exclaim, "He has you completely fooled!"
"Oh no," says the woman. "I'm a widow."
6) Laptop
What's the difference between a blonde and Windows 95?
The blonde operates on more laptops!
7) IAS Interview
One young man went for an IAS Interview. "When did India get independence? " He was asked. "The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
"Who was responsible for our independence? " "There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another. " He replied.
"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?" "Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.
When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is your date of birth?" He replied, " The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947." Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name?" He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another". The interviewer was incensed. " Hey! Are you mad or what?" He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report ."
8) Marriage After Death
Sardar: Will u marry after I die
Wife : No I wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after I die .
Sardar: No I will also live with ur sister.
9) At the Door
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
10) Turning Point of Yoga
Jai was informing his friend: My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally. Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem.
"No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."
----- Hope you enjoyed... Keep smiling... will meet you again... Magesh Elangovan
Two men debate whether Hawaii is pronounced "HaVaii" or "HaWaii." They ask a passerby, who answers "Havaii.""Thank you," says the satisfied first man. "You're velcome," replies the passerby.
2) Sardarji - Suicide bomber
Sardar joins the suicide bomber squad. So when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp his leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications. He lands up in the enemy's camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now? Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers. Sardar: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now? Boss: Wait for more. Sardar: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now? Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don't worry about your family, we will look after. Sardar pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.!!!
3) Great Dialogue
Indian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year! Delegates
US President: Wow! How many?
Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut
4) Man's intelligence
What do you call a man who has lost 90% of his intelligence?
A. Divorced.
5) Where's the Husband
Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!"
"I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house, but when I called he wasn't there."
The third woman says, "I always know where my husband is."
"Impossible!" both women exclaim, "He has you completely fooled!"
"Oh no," says the woman. "I'm a widow."
6) Laptop
What's the difference between a blonde and Windows 95?
The blonde operates on more laptops!
7) IAS Interview
One young man went for an IAS Interview. "When did India get independence? " He was asked. "The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
"Who was responsible for our independence? " "There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another. " He replied.
"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?" "Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.
When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is your date of birth?" He replied, " The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947." Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name?" He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another". The interviewer was incensed. " Hey! Are you mad or what?" He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report ."
8) Marriage After Death
Sardar: Will u marry after I die
Wife : No I wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after I die .
Sardar: No I will also live with ur sister.
9) At the Door
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
10) Turning Point of Yoga
Jai was informing his friend: My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally. Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem.
"No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."
----- Hope you enjoyed... Keep smiling... will meet you again... Magesh Elangovan
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